Yesterday was rough in so many ways. Getting chemo alone is just a ride in itself, finding out that Rebekah was not doing so well and seeing my friends and chemo nurses with such heavy hearts was a lot to take in. At one point during my treatment I had to sneak away to the bathroom and let the tears fall. Rebekah should have been at chemo with me yesterday as we were on the same schedule. She was there last treatment and we had a good talk about her battle and the fight she was ready to have due to the recent health changes. We talked about God and the strength He was giving her and that this is just another "bump" in the road but she was so strong. After 4 hours of time together, I gave her a big hug and we both agreed to pray for eachother and I know that wasn't just a thing to say. We did..and I appreciate her for praying for others even in the midst of what she was going through.
Rebekah and I have been on Chemo together for a year and a half, but she was 6 months ahead of me when I joined the "party room" of orange chairs as my good friend Bud puts it. I remember Rebekah with her laptop, her bluetooth and cell phone in hand as she worked during her 7+ hours of treatment. One of my favorite memories is when I gave my nurse Monica a pin that said "Im the nurses favorite."
She accepted with laughter and joy but assured me that there was another patient that might put up a fight about it because the other patient was sure that she was Monica's favorite. LOL....I later learned it was Rebekah. So when we finally met, Monica introduced us and said "this is the patient that gave me that pin" and the battle began. LOL....But with all kidding aside, we knew that Monica loved us both very dearly (and still does) and when we were there together we got equal treatment but we always got a little extra on the side as well when the other wasn't around. :) We love our Nurses!!
Rebekah was such a fighter! She fought colon cancer for 2 years and her kids were the reason behind that. She made that very clear and talked about them all the time. They are the same age as my two kids and I think that is where it hits me in the gut. I watched her fight, and go downhill and still fight. Through the tough times towards the end she still gave God the Glory and claimed everything in His name. When she felt defeated she would still quote the word of God for everyone to know that she relied on Him no matter what the turn out was. That is such an inspiration for me and I can only hope to follow her in that way!
As I am mourning the loss of a friend, a fellow cancer buddy and chemo buddy I had to tell myself that its ok to mourn the loss of Rebekah and cry my eyes outs everytime I would think of her. During the day, I would feel guilty that I came home from chemo with my family and then realized I can't begin to feel that way, because I know she wouldn't want me to. I hugged my kids so tight last night and this morning as I just think of the loss her kids are feeling as well as her family.
I was doing Bella's hair this morning and lost control of emotions because my heart breaks that her kids lost their mom. She is a daughter, a sister, an aunt a cousin, a friend and so much more I am sure to be missing but everyone will tell you that Rebekah is wonder woman! And she was! Without a doubt. She was a fighter till the very end!
Rebekah I know that you are free of cancer, free of your bloated belly that you hated so much and that you have all the energy we can dream of. I know you are just rejoicing in your time with Jesus and as we mourn the loss of your absence we rejoice in knowing where you are.
I can only pray for your family and for comfort during this time. I pray that your two children will grow up being everything that you dreamed they would be. You have instilled God's word in them and I believe this will only make them stronger to fight the good fight for their mom.
We love you Rebekah and I am so sorry cancer had to take you this way, but we shall see eachother again. Cancer free.