Tuesday, December 28, 2010


Well in honor of Big Red I decided to write my blog in red. Although I have a love/hate relationship with him, Big Red has done some great things for me. I truly believe in the medicine as I said before and I am trusting that his job is done and the cancer cells that were lingering around are no longer there.

Tomorrow is my last one. YAY! I then move onto Taxol in January for a total of 4 treatments. Even though I have barely made a dent in my chemo treatment I will celebrate tomorrow!

I got my blood work done today and I called my doctor around 5pm to get my results and they said that I am borderline again. One or two things will happen which is really my choice. I can get my blood drawn again to see if I have come up so they can give me my treatment w/out the booster. If I choose this, that means a LOOOONG day of treatment. Atleast 5-6 hours becuase I have to wait for my results.

If I choose the booster, (im blanking on the name..Nuelasta i think) it has side effects that I really dont want to deal with. She told me achy feelings. Ugh, I so don't feel like doing that.

So after Cory and I talked tonight we are leaning on getting my blood checked again. Praying that its GOOD TO GO with no booster.

Please pray with me!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Tears are Falling

I can't even begin to describe the various emotions that has taunted me today which led me into "isolation" (how Cory's describes my day). It started yesterday. The fatique was overwhelming. My house was a disaster and I couldn't lift a finger which of course drives me crazy. I was so tired and we had one more Christmas dinner to attend at my moms house. I pretty much isolated myself on the couch at her house getting sleepier and sleepier as the night went on. Everyone else in my family parented my kids because I shut down when I am tired and a bit overwhelmed by the chaos of family. I was never like that before, but sometimes it just gets too overwhelming.

Today I woke up, a new day, a shower, some new clothes from Christmas and off I went to help set up at church. I moved a rack of chairs (with help) and found myself exhausted. I expressed to my friend Amy how much energy that just took out of me, and its not to get sympathy or to get out of helping because that is something that I desire to do, but I want to try and explain what my body is feeling.

After much socializing at church and of course singing, by the time we were done, I was DONE. I hit a brick wall as I say so many times. I came home and Cory made me lunch and I took a 2 hour nap. Now let me back up a bit.

After church Cory and I had a "talk" which of course turned into a high volume discussion. :) Im not going to lie and say our marriage through this journey is strong everyday. Lately it has been weak for several reasons. Tears starting falling during this "discussion" because I truly feel like my marriage is weaker because of me. Not because of me but because of the circumstances we are in. Im sure my husband is tired of being the caretaker and some days it shows more often than others, but he never complains. My guilt sets in and my mind makes stuff up so he just may be tired but I take it as "tired of caring for me."

After our discussion, we ate lunch and then off I went into my bedroom to nap. I started to wake up and he opens the door to check on me cuz my mom came to visit. She actually came to tell me that my Aunt Elsie was back in the ER becuase of a side effect from the medication she is on. So, I started making some phones calls and so on. Then a few minutes later, my 3 nieces and a friend came over. So I got up, put a hat on, and went outside on the couch to join them as they invaded my house. Well just my Wii and Just Dance 2. I don't mind these kind of visits, I thrive on them actually, but today I felt crappy. I just sat on the couch watching them as they entertained themselves. I enjoyed them being here though. I just wasn't myself. After they left, Cory gave me a big hug and said how he can tell how tired I was. So I went back in the bedroom and laid down some more until dinner.

During this time Amy and I were trying to plan a shopping trip with our Youth Group students for tomorrow. I try and do as much as possible before chemo on Wednesday because I'll be down for several days. Each treatment gets longer and longer that I am "down". Anyway through this scheduling I started attacking myself in all different areas in ministry. I long to be connected with these girls but this stupid thing called cancer puts a hiccup in my step. Scheduling, length of shopping, connecting, holding hour long conversations all sound exhausting but my heart is bursting for them at the same time. Its really hard and stressful on me mentally to have to pick and choose what is right.

So at this point my emotions are already all over the place. Then the thought of getting my house ready AGAIN for Wednesday, Meals planned, Fridge filled, kids clothes washed, clean house and bills paid exhausts me some more. lol.

I finally got out of my bed, played some Wii with the kids and Cory and then did a devotional with Bella while Cory did his devotional with Isaac. It was really good. We got them new devotionals for Christmas Boy & Girl ones of course and they are really enjoying them. Its a blessing to read bible stories about women of God and then hear my daughter read. We read Psalms 26 tonight. We were only supposed to read one verse, but the sound of her reading to me was too good to stop so she kept going. Then she prayed. She asked God to please make her mom feel better because she loves her very very much. It was precious.

Cory took the kids to bed and when they were both out of my room I started to cry some more. Isaac came back in (unexpected) and he got really nervous and asked what happened when he saw my tears.  Just something in my eye buddy, I'll be fine. There are times when he can see me cry, but right before bed is not one of them. I know my son and I know that he will lay there and ponder it. Its not something I want him to worry about.

Cory came in and there I let it loose. After dumping my entire set of emotions on him once again, he said "what do you want to do about it?" I disregarded the question and broke out into a deeper breakdown and cried out "What did I miss, where in the world did this come from, how did I get it" and on and on I went over the same questions I have been asking myself for 5 months. Cory was pretty silent and just held me as he knows works best for me. He never got the answer to his question but he told me I should blog and that I need more friends on the days leading up to chemo. LOL. Its funny to hear his solution to a problem.

Anyway, I listented and I decided to journal (Blog). SOmetimes I feel like its a whine fest and maybe it is, but its my outlet. Its why I created it. I don't ever want anyone to think each day is a bowl full of cherries or that each day is a torture chamber, but it varies. We received several gift cards for Christmas so I will be planning a nice long date night for the two of us. Dinner, Movie and Ice Cream. I can't wait for it.

Lots of new side effects have started and that is always a constant reminder of the change in my body which triggers emotions as well.

I just ask for prayer for my marriage, my health of course and that God will fill me up with peace before my next treatment.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Looking Forward

So as Christmas comes to a close and I look onto my next AND LAST Big Red treatment on Wednesday, the light at the end of this tunnel gets brighter. Im excited to have completed BIG RED on Wednesday. Then I start my next round which is Taxol. Less nausea but a new side effect of some bone pain. Im a bit anxious to start a new medicine, and to map out my "side effects" all over again. On Big Red, I know for about 4 days, Im wiped out, but Im not sure what to expect with this treatment. Im trying not to think toO much about it, and to just concentrate and appreciate that my last BIG RED treatment is over. I pray I never have to meet up with him again.

As far as my health goes. Im feeling great, with some side effects. LOL Im tired of course, and the hustle and bustle of Christmas has me WORN OUT but Im still able to do the things I want to do which is a plus!

Some side effects are a lack of taste (food tastes different than before) runny, watery eyes, and sadly my nose hairs are fading away which is causing some burning in my nose, because my nose is runny, and its not protected as it should be. Its annoying and inconvienent but nothing to whine about, although my family would say I whine. :)

Im looking forward to 2011! This year was tough for us. Im excited to bring in the New Year however I will be down from my treatment so I wont be celebrating that night, but I do have great goals for 2011. Even though I wont be done with chemo until 2012, I hope to work on some online classes for my district Pastoral license, go to summer camp with my Jr. Highers and enjoy my hair as it grows back after the Taxol.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! I pray a special blessing on all of you for a WONDERFUL, HEALTHY 2011!

Christmas 2010

Wow what a GREAT CHRISTMAS. Im sad that its over. I love this season of caroling, baking, tons of family gatherings, AMAZING food, gifts of course and the warm cozy feeling of childhood memories BUT most of all, I LOVE the fact that we have salvation throuegth Jesus Christ which is the true meaning of Christmas. Everything else that tries to cover Him up might make us happy in the moment, but its eternal life that we need to focus on and that is why I love Christmas.

We went to church at 6:00 and had an amazing turnout. Bella and Isaac got to do a solo and they sounded beautiful. It was a true blessing to worship together with my church family as well as my immediate family. We did our usual traditional Christmas Eve at my house with tons of presents, and lots of good laughs and we can't forget the food. Yummy Italian food made by mom.

Elisa, me, Bella, Alona, Lisette

Asleep under the tree waiting for the big arrival on Christmas morning.

Christmas morning was great. Bella got to wake up to her art table, Isaac woke up to his scooter plus tons of other gifts from family and friends. After we opened gifts, we prayed and thanked God for this blessing to even have gifts. I never want my kids to overlook how "spoiled" they are. Today we just lounged around all day playing with all the fun stuff the kids got. Plus we got awesome Wii games that Cory and I are able to play. That is always a plus.

Bella waking up to her art table. She has made atleast 7 pictures today. LOL

His ultimate scooter that he has been wanting. It does fancy tricks. LOL

My #1 mom keychain from Bella

The aftermath

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve Dinner

Journey JEREMIAH 29:11

Nutcracker 2010

I had the blessing of taking Bella to the Nutcracker this year. Here are some pictures that I promised earlier.

Amy and I wanted to be ballerina's after the show. This was our debut. LOL

Auntie & Bella


Elisa and Bella. Best Cousins

Me, Mom and Lisette

Thursday, December 23, 2010

My Personalized Christmas Gift (Absence of Time)

I received my Christmas gift today. Cory thinks he bought it for me, but truly I did everything. He probably doesn't even know I have it. LOL

Steampunk, vintage watch, and antique inspired wearable art designed and crafted by Chris Terhaar. http://www.facebook.com/absenceoftime

I asked Chris to put two stones in my ring. Pink of course to represent Breast Cancer Awareness and the other Purple. Not only is that my favorite color but it also represents Survivorship. The ring is gorgeous and I love it! Thanks Chris!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Answered Prayers for INSURANCE

Thank you all so much for adding me to your prayer list last night and today. God answered those prayers and once again I fit the "O Ye of Little Faith" category. Last night I fell asleep in tears and woke up at 4:30am with my mind racing and my heart heavy. I spent time in prayer and at one point I said to God "I just feel so weak and troubled I don't even have the motivation to ask for help" I love being honest with God.

At about 9:30am I put a second call into my oncologist office to speak with the biller hoping she can help me figure out what to do during my "spenddown" month. I left a message for her and she called me back. Here is basically how the conversation went.

"Gabbee this is Terri.  I got your message and before I even start to explain how the process will happen I want you to know that you dont have a thing to worry about. My job is to make sure that you are covered with all of your treatment and prescriptions when insurance lapses. You will hit your $6000 very quickly and you will not have to pay a dime out of pocket for medication or prescription because we will take care of you and work it out so that you have all of your medication regardless of your coverage. I will take care of all your bills and send it to the insurance until you meet your spenddown and when this happens again in 6 months, we will do the same thing. We want you to enjoy your Christmas and not to worry about a thing" PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My response to her was this "Terri, I have had a team of people praying for this answer. Thank you so much for your help and for delivering this message to me today so that I can enjoy the week with my family and not have to worry about my treatment. Tonight I can sleep and allow my mind to be at peace."

I was so thankful for her call. I was reminded once again how little faith I have. We worry because we are human but Jesus has never failed me before, and He isn't going to start now. Then He isn't who He says He is.

More pics to come.

Thank you so much for all your prayers! I was able to enjoy the rest of my day today and even got to see the Nutcracker today with Bella, My mom, sister, niece and friend Amy. I got dressed up, wore my wig and beautified myself. LOL. It was a great day. God is Good.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Insurance was denied

I have such a heavy heart right now as I received an email from my caseworker of my insurance denial. We do not meet the requirements based on income to renew our health insurance. I am currently covered until January 31, 2011. We have two options.

*Cory takes a cut in hours which affects us financially. We can pull from savings but it'll be tight because he would have to cut back atleast 10 hours a week, putting him at a part-time status. Technically any change in income is to be reported even after my "approval" which can cause them to terminate our insurance again anyway.

*A $6000 spenddown would need to be shown in order for us to qualify based on not income but on medical expenses. My caseworker made a comment to me that meeting that $6000 wouldn't be hard on chemo. True, however, one of my medications is $400 (twice a month) also, my zofran (twice a month), my phenegran my valium for my expanders, my plastic surgeon and my chemo treatments would all have to be paid out of pocket. We don't have the money to pay for all this waiting on reimbursement. It simply seems impossible.

Im stressed, Im anxious, Im angry and my spirit is weakened because IM IN THE MIDDLE OF MY CHEMO TREATMENTS! Im not done. Im not even halfway done. How is this possible!!??

I ask that you please get on your knees asking for a clear decision on which option to take and I pray that I am not a day without insurance.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Weekend Update

Im back. I've been so exhausted my social networking hasn't gone past my Iphone. My poor little laptop has been lonely. :) Just a few updates before I post about my weekend.

We submitted all of our insurance paperwork today so please continue to remember us in your prayers as we wait for approval. I emailed my caseworker and told her that I am in the middle of my chemo treatment to please call me with any questions regarding our renewal. I DO NOT want a denial letter in the mail w/out talking to someone. I wouldn't put that past them.

I've been EXHAUSTED. Hot flashes and lots of fatigue have been roaming my body. I've been sleeping alot. I've made myself comfortable on the couch to be in the midst of my family so I don't feel like Im isolated in my bedroom.

Yesterday I overdid it at the airport (dropping Isaac off..pics will be below) and did something to my foot. I have this sharp pain on the bottom of my foot below my big toe. Can't really walk on it w/out limping. Im assuming its because of too much walking and my uncomfortable shoes, but Cory is demanding I call the nurse tomorrow just to make sure. LOL

Nausea. This time around, something has triggered me to feel sick to my stomach everytime I think of my doctor, my nurses, the smell...ugh barf..just typing it now makes me SICK! They can't give me the med that helps with that because Im already on my valium for my muscle spasms. Grugh. So please pray that subsides. I would hate to have this feeling closer to my treatment. Normally by now, my nausea subsides, but it just lingers. :(

Okay..enough of that! Lets talk about the fun stuff. Saturday night Isaac and Bella participated in our Church's Christmas Story Musical. They each did a solo and I was super proud and so thankful I was able to be there. As they were singing, I just thanked God for the blessing of another day and another event in their lives.

Isaac singing "Go Tell it on the Mountain"

Dakota and Bella singing "Silent Night"

The Nativity

Then on Sunday, Isaac flew into Nevada ALONE for the first time to spend a week with his Grandparents & Auntie Shanna. (Cory's parents & sister). I was SO ANXIOUS about sending him, but the attendants at Southwest were great. Isaac was very excited about going. He is going to be playing with his 3 cousins and then going fishing with Grandpa and making cookies with Grandma. We had to leave at 8am to head to Phx Airport for his 11:00 flight. We had a fairly easy check in although security was obnoxious. I don't disagree with how they are, but its still obnoxious. Isaac's bag got checked even further because of his headphone wires and the cheese and crackers. Apparently that looked suspicious. Once we were through security we sat down and had an early lunch. They allowed Bella and Cory to come with me to the gate which was good. Isaac boarded first, and the ticket agent informed us of how she will hand him over and then she told us to say our Goodbyes. I held back the tears because Isaac kept asking if I was going to be ok. So I tried hard. I hugged him so tight and was over protective with my last words. He had the choice to have a window seat or an aisle and he chose the window. I told him that if he feels scared at what he is looking at, he can pull the shade down and not look at it and he proceeded to tell me that he wants to look, and I proceeded to say "ok, but if you get scared, you can pull it down" then Cory finally stopped me. LOL I hugged him again and off he went. Thats when I allowed the tears to flow. Cory put his arm around me and I kindly nudged his arm away, letting him know to leave me in my zone. LOL He got the clue. As we were sitting there staring through the glass window at the pilots and crew guys on the landing strip, I noticed the pilots turn around, shake hands and start showing some buttons. Cory said "Is Isaac in the cockpit?" And I ran to the window and said "YES" OMG..little brat, is so spoiled. LOL. That helped my tears stop flowing, cause I knew that he was SUPER EXCITED. Well, I thought he was. Later on we talked on the phone and I asked him how cool it was to be in the cockpit and he said "ya, it was ok, but the best part was when we turned around in the air" LOL. Go figure. Anyway, he landed and was just fine. Im SO PROUD of him. He is having a blast in Northern Nevada (Battle Mountain and Winnemucca) which is 3 hours North of Reno.

Heading to check in

He landed in Reno! Yay

Anyway, Im trying to get back into the groove of things as the week is here. Lots of girl time with Bella. We have some fun stuff planned. Pedicure, shopping and christmas wrapping (which she loves).

Thank you again for all your prayers, donations, sweet notes, gifts and encouraging messages. I NEED IT and am beyond GRATEFUL for it.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Super Chemo Girl Has Fallen

I almost didn't want to blog today because I don't want to go through my day once again but here I am desiring to do so. What a disaster it was. From the moment I woke up, tears were falling down, till moments ago, they still fall. I am finally admitting that I need emotional support. I don't even know from who or what I need to hear, but I need it.

I woke up feeling extremly anxious today. Normal on the day of chemo as you are trying to prepare your mind and body to feel the effects of chemo but today was different. As many of you know, Elisabeth Edwards died yesterday from cancer. Started out as breast cancer and came back to a point of no control. All this time, I have shielded myself from those type of stories and only concentrated on survivor stories. Hearing that and seeing it all over my MSN page, wasn't a good fit the day before chemo. I believe this emotional rollercoaster started then.

Later on in the evening I realized that I had a stack of "To Do" papers that have dissapeared. Gone. No longer in my house. The result? I probably threw them out by mistake. The problem? My insurance renewal deadline date with the papers I need to provide the insurance was in that stack. I went into panic mode afraid I was missing the deadline. So the anxiety level was high all night, which led into the morning.

I got up, got the kids off to school, cried through it all and got in the car to head to chemo with Cory. I called my caseworker and she gave me my deadline date (Monday) and what papers I will need to fax in to determine if I am eligible to renew my insurance. I currently have insurance until the end of January. Let me just say this. Our Government truly has the decision to determine my life span. They deny me, I lose insurance. What insurance company will cover a patient in the midst of chemo and reconstructive surgery? Ugh, the thought of that blows my mind. They don't care that I have cancer, they care if my income meets their requirments. My anxiety flies high when I think of the possibility. My sister reaasured me that she will knock on every door for help. I can't even imagine getting to that point and I refuse to stop my treatment if needed. I believe in this medicine, I believe in my doctors. I believe in my medical team and the choices I have made. I will not turn away and "hope" for the best. That's not my choice.

So put yourself in my shoes going to the Cancer center. Feeling tons of emotion and anxiety and then I sit in with my doctor for her to tell me that my blood work from yesterday shows my white blood count is borderline and unless it shows differently today we can't do chemo. Immediatley I question what I have done wrong, and through the tears my doctor reassures me that it has NOTHING to do with what I ate, what I drank, how much rest I got, how far away I kept from my sick kids or anyone around me that may be sick. Its all part of the chemo process but I couldn't help but feel guilty. Then she says "hop on the table, let me listen to your heart and lungs" She listens, and listens some more, and some more and asks me to keep taking deep breaths and honestly I started getting dizzy until she said "Your lungs sound flat to me so I need you to start taking deep breaths every hour, so infections dont fester in there". GRUGH! Really? Flat? What in the world did I do for that to happen? Anyway, I love my oncologist. She reassured me that all of this is normal (chemo normal) and not to be concerned. Today wasn't the day for me to hear any of this because my spirit was already broken.

Anyway, we moved on to the chemo room which smells like medicine and makes me nauseous. I got my blood taken again and had to come back in an hour, so Cory and I went to Wal-Mart to get the kids their Christmas Gifts. I called an hour later and they cleared me for my blood count and that I could get my treatment today. My white blood count went from 2.5 to 3.5 in one day. Im thankful for that.

Today when the nurse cleaned my skin that protects my port and injected my IV, I cried. I looked at my friend Rachelle and just put my head down in disgust. Disgusted that Im here. How did this happen? I got up to go to the bathroom with my pole of drugs and I looked in the mirror. I saw, a pale, bald 31 year female holding a pole full of chemo drugs. I looked in the mirror and said "what in the world, how did this happen, Jesus please Heal me"

This is all still tender to me. I can wear the prettiest wigs and hats and earring and do my makeup all jazzed out, attend ministry events, work from home, be a mom, be a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a neighbor but honestly, right now I am SO FULL OF CHEMO. I can't deny that. I won't surround myself in depression for long (thats not me) but through all the "stuff" I have to remember what my body is going through. I may feel fine on the outside, my heart is still beating, my limbs are still moving, but reality is, my body is being torn up right now on the inside.

I met a lady at chemo today. She had breast cancer, had a double masectomy, chemo and radiation. Her tumor was 5 cm and was a grade 3. They removed 7 lymph nodes and found one cancerous node. A few months later, she had pain on her side, went in to find out she has lung cancer, and now liver cancer. She has children ranging from 25 to age 3! What seperates us? 1 lymph node. Just 1! (Of course the size of her tumor was way beyond mine as well). As she was talking today, not only was my heart heavy for her to see her go through this all over again, and wonder if she is thinking about death, but it scared me more than I have ever been scared. I mean...yes I think about the D word especially when I was diagnosed but there was always a solution waiting for me. YOu have cancer? Ok, here are your options. And I took them. But now, I sit and wait, and pray that my options do its thing and cancer NEVER returns. NEVER! This is so much bigger than what I make it sometimes. I put on a great show huh? Today I feel like my show has been cancelled.

My husband came in to hold me tonight and told me that I am just being emotional. LOL...of course. But the bottom line? Today was a bit of reality for me. Hearing some insurance lady tell me that she will determine my health care, hearing that my body wasn't nearly as strong as I assumed, hearing a story from a woman that burns a hole right in your gut and sitting here laying in bed, not having the desire or energy to do anything is so much more than emotions. Its my life. Its the cards that I have been dealt.

Im calling out to God, knowing He is there, but I am feeling disconnected today. That hasn't happened. What I can use is encouraging scripture, encouraging words, reminders of how far I have come. I basically need to go back and read the huge amounts of cards I have in my basket in my room. I need to walk around and look at all the encouraging notes, gifts, jewerly, wigs, hats, blankets and pillows to remind me that I am not alone. I pray that I have not fallen for long. Get up and keep going right? I can't go backwards. I can't worry about tomorrow, I need to find peace in the moment. I ask that you pray for me, with me and continue to support me through this journey.

Monday, December 6, 2010

It's Chemo Week Again!

Hi Everyone,

Lots of people ask how they can help during chemo week. I go in for my 3rd treatment on Wednesday and am usually down till Monday before I am up and doing "mommy chores" again. I have a few people scheduled to "babysit" me and the kids while Cory is at work because my energy level is at zero.I just wanted to remind everyone of our FoodTidings website where you can sign up to bring a meal. Also if you want to bring a frozen meal we can save it for a later date, that works too! This is a HUGE help for us as cooking is the furthest from our minds.


If you have trouble signing up, please email Rachelle at theedfam5@yahoo.com and she can fill in the date for you. We love and appreciate anything that is brought to us. (Except fish) LOL. :)

Thank you again for your support!!!

Busy Weekend Before Round 3

This weekend was packed with tons of Christmas Cheer! I was really looking forward to this weekend since I have chemo on Wednesday and will be "down" for a few days. I take the days I have energy and really utulize them for family time. Its super important to me. I have tons of pics to share.

First...Friday night was the Florence Parade of Lights. We had our Youth Group participate in a Nativity Float to represent the real meaning of Christmas. They did a great job! Im thankful for their hearts and the leaders hearts as well. Here are some pics of this event.

Mosaic's Jr High and High School Students ready for the Nativity Float 2010

Great Job!

So Cool! Thanks Everyone that had a hand in this!

Amy & I

Cant see because Florence FD did an awesome job on the lights but Isaac is on top of the truck. LOL

Then On Sunday we had our 3rd Annual Church Christmas Banquet. This is such a great night. A prime rib dinner, amazing desert, roasting marshmellows, music, hayrides and good times with friends and family. I wore my wig tonight for the special occasion. At first, I was having hot flashes and was SUPER CRANKY to have all this hair on my head LOL...but as it got colder, I learned to appreciate the hair on my head until another hot flash came in and off the wig came before we even got to the car to go home. LOL Pics below.

Bagby Family 2010

Cory and Me. This was when I was hot and cranky. Can you tell? LOL

Mom and Joe. We were blessed that he was there and healthy enough to enjoy the occasion.

Me, My mom and my sister.

Bella and Me on the Hayride.

Amy, Me and Maddie around the campfire.


Hope, Lisette, Joy, Cory and Me.

My little man Isaac.

Me and My sister.

We had a great weekend! Im so blessed to have had the energy and good health to enjoy it! Although Im about to endure chemo again on Wednesday (which I hate), I praise God for the time I have had with my family & Friends this weekend.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

A series of Unfortunate events

I don't have anything really exciting to blog about, except the fact that I believe my family is under attack. I believe that Satan tries to steal the joy from each of us, and as we go into the Christmas Season trying to stay focused on the true meaning of CHRISTmas and truly embracing the fact that I am alive and well and spending time with my family, we have received several unfortunate events that steal our joy and cause us to lose focus.

In just my home, every time I am on my low week, my kids are sick. This isn't our normal "health" behavior. Im tired of seeing them sick, only when Im low. Bella is still battling Fifth Disease. Even though she is not contagious anymore she is still experienceing the side effects. Itchy burning rash on her arms, low grade fevers, weak, cranky, tired and wanting to cuddle with her mom (and she can't even though I have snuck in a few hugs.) Her cough now hurts her chest so she is now on antibiotics. Another attack that I have to be in constant prayer about. Just another unfortunate event.

My sister's home. Even though her new change in the BEST change, it caused a hiccup in schedules and focus. Although a HUGE praise is coming out of this and I see God working which reminds me of how strong prayer is and how BIG our God is its just another unfortunate event.

My mom's home. Joe (My stepdad) was sick a few weeks ago, cold went away and a week later and 3 faints later, he was in the hospital for 4 days with an pnemonia. He is still feeling ill and was on two different medications. I pray for his healing everyday but this too is just another unfortuante event.

Elsie (Joe's sister) was in a car accident yesterday. A rock in the road caused damage to the car causing Elsie to go off road into a ditch. Elsie fractured her lower back and rib. She is in excruating pain and will have to endure rehabilatation for a long time to be able to walk again w/out being in so much pain. My heart is heavy for her as this is a new lifestyle change she has to endure. Just another unfortunate event.

When all these things are happening around us, during a season of celebration because of our gift of eternal life and a personal relationship its so hard to stay focused on our blessings and that is EXACTLY what Satan wants.

So, I find myself laughing with God because in the end we will conquer. He reminds me that Satan can't win. He might try and he might cause some crappy bumps in the road, but not enough to win. We might have to face these trials and they are unfortuante but Satan can't hold up in the end. This is when constant prayer is a MUST. We will not go through this dark valley with a light bright enough to get to the end without God in our everyday prayer time.

As my support system I ask that you keep all of thiese things in your daily prayer time with God.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Staten Island Fundraiser A COMPLETE SUCCESS!

A BIG THANK YOU to The Marina Cafe & F2K Entertainment for putting on this fundraiser and contributing to its Success. I also want to thank Diana Jaconetti for having the heart and passion to put this on for me. With everyone's support we raised $820.00!!!!! How awesome is that!!! Thank you so much for your support during this journey in my life.

Marina Cafe, Staten Island NY

F2K Entertainment!

Diana friends since Jr. High School. Im forever Grateful!

Thank you again for everyone that had a hand in this! My husband told me last night that we need to make sure that after chemo, we make a special visit to NY to thank everyone! I can't wait for that day! May God Bless each and everyone of you as you have blessed me!