Friday, March 18, 2011

I don't know what to Title this Blog....

This treatment is SO DIFFERENT than the last 2 Taxol treatments. I would put the pain level definitly lower. Less neropathy, however it's constant. Starting from the day of the treament. Pain meds are controlling the pain, but as soon as they wear off, Im screwed. Last treatments, the pain was always there, just mild when I was on medicine. This time, the meds actually take most of the pain away, but not for long. Very Very interesting.

Yesterday I was on meds all day, and honestly forgot to keep up with them. About 9pm, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was trying to work, I had a hot flash, I got SUPER CRANKY, IRRITABLE, and my legs could not stay still. I broke down again and once again my husband held me like a baby and carried me from the floor back to the bed. I could not get comfortable. The last thing I remember was Cory rubbing my legs and putting me to sleep. He is such my rock, I love him so much.

Ive had some "I hate having cancer moments" which usually happens after my treatment. Hearing people going to the pool (Yes its 90 degrees) and I am in my bed and can't really sit in the sun. But as my mom told me, "everyone that has a job is at work not in the pool" LOL so I need to get over it. I did pretty quickly, however the cute tan my kids are starting to get is tempting. :)  I got my Easter Dress and I dont have a hat that matches. I dont want to wear a big typical Easter hat, however I can't really wear a ball cap. Most of my "fancy hats" are wool which doesn't flow in this Arizona heat. Soooooo Im just tired of buying hats and Im tired of being bald. I WISH I had the guts to go bald. i REALLY do. But Im just not that yet. I don't even know if I could handle the reactions. If I wear a dress, big earrings and lots of make-up, maybe I can pull it off? Ahhhhh I have anxiety just thinking about it. LOL

Other than that, nothing really exciting happening here. I do have a prayer request for my friend Lorna. She is starting Chemo on Tuesday and I know the anxiety she is feeling and I wish I could take it all away. Im praying that she stays strong and gets through it as easy and breezy as she can!

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