Short and Sweet...We are facing tough times. First off, the pain from the Taxol is so different from the first time. Im so behind in everything and just when I think its over, it creeps back in. It took longer to hit me this time around, but its lingering around longer and its only from my knees down. Last time was my pelvis down. So maybe next time it will just be my feet. :) Anyway, last night was TERRIBLE. At one point I was on the floor rolling around crying. That was MY BIGGEST FEAR about CHEMO. I took DOUBLE MEDS just to fall asleep. Cory cradled me, and basically "rocked" me to sleep. As soon as I woke up, the sharp shooting nerve pains were back so I immediatley took more pain meds. Now Im able to sit here and type w/out aching into fetal position. So please pray for me. Especially because I get my weekly Herceptin tomororw! AHHH, Im so not wanting to go in and get CHEMO even if its mild. I want only to be in my bed. My mom took off work to come with me, bcuz I was having to go alone. That was dumb to try and go alone I know.
The other prayer is...we are struggling financially. We have exhausted all of our savings, and our insurance is giving us problems and there has been some out of pocket expenses already that I had no idea of and we are being billed for that wont be covered by insurance. Cory and I both lost hours at our job which will be setting us back even more. When I am down for CHEMO I lose hours at my job, so of course the ER took my "good days" away from me which took hours away. We are at the point of having to make arrangements on our bills because we know the money just isn't coming in and expenses are putting us out. We have a fundraiser coming up on Saturday, March 5th at 2:00. We are still selling raffle tickets and Tshirts to help raise money. I am also selling my guitar on craigslits if anyone is interested. Email me.
Im angry, Im frustrated and I truly just don't know what else to do. This sucks all around. I found myself sitting in front of the mirror a couple of days ago looking at my bald head and asking "how in the world did I get here". Its a neverending question. Its a question that goes through my head EVERYDAY.
Please Join us prayer as we ask God to Provide and that the Insurance goes through with no hiccups and no more out of pocket expenses. We also ask for this pain to GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!