Well yesterday was another interesting day. Cory took Bella to the pediatrician and because of the controlling wife/mom that I am, my wonderful husband texted before he saw the doctor and said "Text me any questions you might have for Dr. Martin, incase I forget." Sooooo brilliant me said "why don't you just call me when he gets in the room and put me on speaker phone" Ahha! :) So he did. Im not sure Cory talked much during the doctor visit even though he was there. LOL Yes..that's something I need to work on, BUT when you take a mother out of her environment it's very hard NOT to be in control. :)
Anyway, Cory and I had a lengthy conversation (well I did LOL) with the Doctor on the risk for me, the length of time we should expect for Bella, the option for the booster shot, her anxiety level, her timidness, the fact that Cory hasn't had the chicken pox, Isaac being at risk and.....then I got yelled at by my doctor because I thought I was sounding like a great mom telling him I spent a lot of money on disenfecting stuff for her room and was tearing it apart but I had gloves on and a mask and all I heard was "Gabbee, I have been your doctor for 10 years, you better stop being stubborn and take those gloves off and GET OUT OF HER ROOM". I think that is the only time I heard Cory's voice as he laughed and said "yup, that is my wife". So I kindly apolgozied for being a MOM LOL and said I was leaving the room right away.
Overall the conversation was good. We got great information for both me and the kids. My oncologist was able to tell me to seperate because of the risk factor being in my low week and although I already had the chicken pox, my immune system is so low, I can get them again and well...that could be bad. My pediatrician was able to give me details on how contagious chicken pox was, the fact that its airborne and that EVERYTHING she touches is infected. So no matter how much stuff I buy, it wouldn't work to keep us both in the same house, even if I followed her around with a clorex wipe. :) The other thing was the thought of getting the booster shot for them, however the booster is a LIVE virus and I can't have that around me....SOOOOOO bottom line was "move out". I kicked and screamed and pouted and said that I felt like I was seperating from my husband and we weren't even fighting. LOL Cory said he could do something to make me mad if that made it easier. LOL
But I packed up my things, Cory took the rest of the week off (which is another stress because he doesn't have that much paid vacation time) and off I went. Before I left the house I sat down with Cory and whined a bit about leaving. He truly had a fear in his eyes for me, which helped me make my decision easier to go. He said "the thought of what could happen to you stresses me out and I can't do this alone, so I NEED you to stay healthy". He was right. He then took a deep breath and grabbed his chest. "Panic attack Cory"? He just simply rubbed his face and said "just alittle". :/ (Im not going to lie, in my head I was thinking that we need $6000 for a spenddown to get qualified for insurance, so panic attack isn't such a bad thing. LOL) J/K.
Anyway here we are again. Stressing over this stupid thing called cancer. Me moving out of the house, loss of more pay, the worry of Isaac or Cory getting the chicken pox (Isaac was vaccinated but obviously that statisic doesn't matter and Cory never had them) and me being out of the home when I should be there for my children. That is my job as a mother, that is the vow that I made to my husband and that is where my comfortable bed is. :( (Sorry Lisette)
But, I can't worry about the loss of pay because God ALWAYS provides, I can't worry about if Isaac or Cory gets chicken pox because God WILL protect and I can't worry about being out of the home, out of my normalacy because God has given me a safe, comfortable place to be and I talk to my children and husband everyday, twice a day, three times a day. I get to pick Isaac up from school, Im going on a date with my husband tonight and then we are going to see Isaac compete in Battle of the Books tomorrow at school. I will be home again. Yes it sucks sleeping w/out my husband, yes it sucks to see the text pictures that Cory sends of Bella's new chicken pox spots and hearing how itchy she is, but Cory told me last night that the kids had a good night, Bella is in good spirits and Isaac just says the darnest things. (He doesn't want to read his new DIary of the WImpy kid book because it might mess up his head for the battle of the books competition) LOL. I love HIM! I will gladly sacrifice my comfort zone and my wants so that my daughter is in her own home, with her Daddy that loves her just as much as I do and (this a direct quote from Bella) she is going to make it her "goal" to watch every princess video on tape before she gets better. LOL....I love her.
So...once again the Bagby family is C R A Z Y....but I love us, I love my family and I love our support system. I couldn't IMAGINE doing this alone.
Thank you Cory for being a great, selfless father and husband. Im blessed.
Thank you Lisette for being the best sister EVER and allowing me to just invade your home, cook for me, do my laundry and make my sheets all fluffy and downy soft smelling.
Thank you friends for listening to me whine and cry through it all.
Thank you blog readers for praying for us, supporting us and always encouraging us when we need it.
I simply would and could not do CANCER without you.