So I woke up at 3am last night feeling like I was swallowing fire. My throat was SO SORE and yes on fire! Cory gave me meds, water and a throat lozenge. Usually a typical person would curl up and hide under the covers from feeling so crappy but when you can’t sleep on your side, you just have to bear with it and lay back, well kind of lying back except sitting up. Cory reassured me that my PCP doc is this week and we can find out what’s going on. It just reminded me how many doctor’s appointments we have and people poking at me. I do not look forward to getting my fill on Wednesday. I just want people to leave my breasts alone and I want to sleep on my side. Cory laughed and said “Hunny, you have a long road ahead, you need to get used to people poking and prodding around”. Grugh he is right and I hate it! LOL
So today I just did a little sanitizing to make me feel better and then crashed on my bed. Cory called and suggested the Urgent Care since my PCP appointment isn’t till Thursday. So my mom took me and off we went. Thank God I don’t have an infection. He just said lots of nasal drip from allergies to continue on my allergy medicine and it’ll get better. Ugh, but again, I don’t want to be taking antibiotics for infections at this time. I really want my body to be strong before chemo. I am on a schedule and I don’t have much time before chemo starts.
This leads me to this thought that continues to run rapid in my head. My hair. I want to cut it shorter than it is now. I want to kind of transition into my loss of hair. I will cut it short, then after the first treatment, I’ll shave it. Just the thought of cutting it short makes me want to cry. I always think I’m getting stronger but it really hasn’t gone into reality yet so when I have to make an appointment to cut my hair, it becomes more real to me. I won’t have a long time before I have to shave it, but I do want a cute cut. I do have a GREAT hairdresser so I am not worried about looking cute, but ahhhh, shorter than my length now is short for me.
Anyway, I am just pondering, working and resting in my bed today. Tomorrow Cory is off. I hope we can just chill and enjoy the quiet house on his day off, but I have 3 appointments to get done in 2 weeks so I wouldn’t be surprised if I get a phone call later on, and our day off becomes another day of doctors appointments. I hope not. I could really use tomorrow.