Saturday, October 30, 2010

A few days following treatment

I was going to update per day but I have been way too tired. So here is a simple blog just laying my emotions/feelings all out there.

Wednesday was the worst day of nausea. Thursday I felt queezy but I was SO HUNGRY. I was really tired too. The steroids are probably whats making me hungry but I was like a bottomless pit. I called the nurse and she said "don't question it, just eat" LOL So...Im eating while I can before my appetite goes away or maybe I will be a lucky one.

The best way I can describe the last few days is like being pregnant with Isaac. Now I know that you guys dont know what I felt..LOL but basically morning sickness and fatique. I felt flu-ish. Weak body and nauseated.

Today (Saturday) I made my way to the Harvest Hoedown. Im glad I was able to go with the kids but boy it knocked me out. Lesson learned next treatment. Its not worth it. I was too exhausted out there that I couldn't really be who I am.

Believe it or not, my hair is starting to fall out in the shower. Trust me I have been monitoring it before chemo so I know what to expect. I know some think that hair loss might not happen but after an in depth conversation with my oncologist and chemo nurse on Wednesday its a simple fact. Hair loss will happen because of my mix of chemo. There are thousands out there and some types of cancer dont require the chemo that has hair loss as a side effect or its minimal, but in my case bottom is. I've accepted it but I dread the day. I dread taking showers because what I seen this morning was just a glimpse of what I am not prepared for.

Emotionally? Today Im depressed. Sad that Im stuck in this world that Im not ready to be a part of. All I want to do is curl in my bed and hide, but I have 2 little ones and a husband that I need to show love to. All of this I have no energy for, but must do. I just keep praying that this past few days was the worst of it and I move on to getting healthy before I get knocked down again.

Just a few reminders....If I am not as "physical" as I used to be (hugging, hand shaking, etc) please know its because I need to be cautious. I find myself waving, instead of shaking hands. Its flu season..and I just need to be careful. We also have put the meal calendar back up. (Thanks Rachelle) We set it up for the days/weekend after my treatments. My family will be helping me in between. I really appreciate all the help.

Thank you again for all your prayers and continued support!

1 comment:

  1. If I live close enough bet your heart I would be cooking all your meals for you. But since I'm not all I can do is pray for you and the family. There not a day I don't think what you are going through and the family. I know you will beat it you are a very strong person. Every day I ask god to easy your pain and show his love to you and the family. We love all love ya.