Sunday, October 3, 2010

Prayer Request

I haven’t blogged since Thursday. I had a few comments about that. I’m happy that people notice. LOL. It reminds me that the blog is worth something to others and not just me.

These past few days have been emotional I guess. Wednesday and Thursday were big days for me. An expander fill and my oncology appointment set me back emotionally & physically for a couple of days. Just feeling “blue” or “melancholy”. That is normal and I refuse to try and be someone I am not each day. I will allow my emotions to come out and do their thing. Just not too much. LOL…

I’m going to be honest, because this is why I have this blog, but this weekend was hard. And with a friend texting me and walking me through it I have come to realize that I need to be more aware of my marriage and the damage that can be done by all of this. I have had SO many blessings this past week. Actually the last 9 weeks have been overloaded by blessings. I do believe that Satan hates that. I believe that he has hit a barricade which is awesome! However my marriage is freely open. To be attacked I mean. The stress of cancer can put a toll on me, my husband, my kids and the household. Schedules, works, homework, school, doctor’s visits, no time off, bills, pain, emotions and so much more can really make me grumpy as well as Cory. We aren’t perfect and we make mistakes, but it’s so scary sometimes when we do. Because if we aren’t strong in our marriage, then this can truly tear us apart. I’m not saying that we are struggling but we did have a rocky weekend. Stress levels hit a high and who do we go after? Our spouse of course. Any type of disturbance like that for me puts me in a state of mind that isn’t where I want to be. I am not a fighter during those times. I feel weak. I’m sure Cory feels the same. God is doing wonderful things through this trial of ours. I am in WONDERFUL hands with doctors, and I have hundreds of prayers going out for me for my health..But Cory and I can easily get lost in the midst. So…I am asking that you pray for us. Pray that this continues to make us stronger. Pray that God gives us each the strength to not only deal with cancer, but to still honor each other, love each other and to have the time and energy for each other. The kids too. When I’m short, Cory is short therefore the kids get the crappy end of it. It’s just stressful overall and we have so many prayers but I wanted to lift that one up specifically. I need Cory. He is my rock through this. He has become a Co-Cancer Patient. LOL..Being my caregiver probably isn’t easy. And as school starts back up tomorrow after fall break, it’s going to get a tad bit more edgy in our home due to school/homework and outside activities. Just pray for my family. Pray that Satan has no chance to even cause a hiccup in the Bagby Household.

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