Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Am I dreaming?

So today has been such a blessing to me I truly feel like Im dreaming. I know this post probably seems so emotionally unstable since the last post, but God just has been so GOOD to me today and prayers are truly the only reason I can say this.

Today I had my appointment with Dr. Admire. I have had a few other names for him latley but since our last talk, I tried giving him the benefit of the doubt. I haven't seen him in 3 weeks and when we pulled into the driveway of the building on Princess Drive across from the Porsche dealership I sighed and said "Oh how I don't miss this place" LOL I told Cory that I have gotten used to nobody touching me in "that" area and just driving to Chandler for chemo. But Cory reminded me that last time I left happy, so don't assume he's going to be Mr. #1 Surgeon in America. LOL

So, I did and of course the office staff was adorably nice to me. I was brought back to the room that I was in when I had my hematoma and they wrapped me like a pig in a blanket. I told Cory how anxious I felt being there and he asked me "why are you anxious"? and I couldn't answer him. LOL I really wasn't sure. I kind of felt like I was past this whole boob thing..ya know..moving on. LOL But when I changed into the gown I realized...I have SUCH A LONG way to go still with the boobs. LOL

Anyway Dr. Admire came in, asked me how I felt (from chemo) and asked me if I felt comfortable getting a fill today!! HaHaHa!! My man is BACK!!!!! Im in control and It FELT GOOD!!!!. So I said "well, I just want you to even out my left side with my right (due to the emergency surgery I was a bit bigger on the right) anywho....he agreed, gave me 60cc's on the left...and asked when I would be back in to see him. Ha! Can you believe it???? I was so in control and I LOVE HIM NOW. LOL We are back in action.

We left, I felt and still feel good from the fill. 60cc's is SO MUCH better than 120ccs. Man, I could strangle him if I knew the difference.

So Cory and I went to Tina's Treasures to look at some night caps. My scalp is becoming very tender and the chemo nurse told me today to start getting ready as that is one of the signs that the "loss" is coming near.  I want something to wear around the house instead of being bald or wearing a hat. However they wanted $15 for one cap. LOL..If you know me..I refuse to pay that. I will find cheaper caps, or  I might just have to make them. :)

Anyway we left there and went to MiMi's cafe for lunch. That was a bit of a challenge to do because I can't have raw vegetables or fruits during my "low week" and MiMi's cafe is the perfect place for both of those during lunch..but I settled with clam chowder soup and the Hummus appetizer. Yum. It was nice to go out with my hubby. He has been working his butt off, we haven't had many conversations other than "kids this..clean that...pick up this...fill this script..." you get the picture. So it was nice to just chat. We did find ourselves talking about cancer of course but we did have one point of the conversation that reminded me why I am where I am.

We were talking about the power of prayer and how powerful it has been in my journey. I leaned into the table and said "Cory, look at me. Im on chemo and honestly I feel like Im dreaming, because I really can't complain too much. You know that is totally God and all the prayers from people praying for me. There IS NO OTHER explanation" Of course he agreed but it was a great reminder of how thankful I am of all of you that pray for me daily. You play such a huge part in my healing. Dont stop now. :)

Anyway, we drove home, cleaned up a bit around the house. Picked up the kids, did homework, started dinner, had a great family dinner together, made cookies, and now my 3 amigos are playing Just Dance on the Wii while I blog.

During clean up after dinner I stood at the Island in the kitchen and looked at Cory and said "Im so thankful for this day." He agreed and said "It has been a pretty good day."

I pray for so many more days like this. Even if I am heading into my low week and I am overly obsesive about germs, Im just so thankful that I have the strength to do all these things today.

My only negative complaint is that I had several social events that I wanted to be at this weekend and I called my chemo nurse to get her opinion on them, and she warned me of the consequences of getting sick. She said this weekend is my lowest and I really need to be careful. Soooooo Im missing a church outreach event, a fall festival, two baby showers and possibly my sister's baptisim (which I might just have to sneak to). Im down about that, but the sacrifices now are worth the end result. I can't afford to be in the hospital because I was dumb.

My friend jokingly suggested that I wear a hat that says "Don't touch Me" I told her not to tempt me. So...if you see me out, I might just have a hat. And please follow the rules. LOL.

Thank you again for contributing to these good days. Prayers are powerful and I thank my Almighty Father is who is SO MUCH BIGGER THAN CANCER AND CHEMO and is SO GOOD TO ME!


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