Right after my rinse off in the shower with my hairdresser Sara!
Just to give you an idea of the amounts I was pulling out at a time. Not fun.
Well today was the day. I had no clue actually. I truly did think that I was going to make it to my next treatment with a full head of hair. But that obviously wasn't the case.
I have noticed my hair coming out here and there, but nothing to make me say "its time" until yesterday when I had such pain on my scalp, just from my hair moving around. I took Ibprofun because it hurt. That may sound sissy but man, it was uncomfortable and irritating on my head. I didn't know that was the "start" of it.
Today I took a shower, and it was normal this morning especially since I check all the time. Cory and I ran some errands Picked up the kids while Cory worked on the garage and then we just hung out outside and the kids rode their bikes.
Two of the teens from our youth group Layton and Alona drove past our house. We just chatted for awhile and then Layton asked me "so are you losing your hair yet"? I went and pulled at my hair in the back prepared to show him that not much was coming out, when I had a chunk of hair in my hand. My face, his face and Alona's face were like a deer in headlights. Cory came walking over and I just started pulling from the back, the side, the front and it wouldn't stop coming out. I was in shock. The teens were in shock. Alona said "Gabbee I love you" because I dont think she knew what to say. LOL. Then she said "stop pulling it out" but I couldn't. I think I held it together in front of them as much as I could, and we really couldn't continue our conversation because we all didn't know what to say.
I called my sister to come over and "evaluate" to make sure I wasn't crazy. I just kept pulling it out and she of course told me to stop too. It was on my face, on my shirt and the hair I pulled out was blowing down the sidewalk. I truly couldn't believe it. So...I called Sara and asked if she would come over tonight to shave my head, because if I waited anymore I would have obsessed over it. I was already nauseous from the instant emotion and of course was crying. I thought I was ready. Can you believe it? I truly thought that I was ready and wouldn't shed a tear. Nope, I was wrong.
So, within a short time I had my friends & family here supporting me once again. Hope, Amy, Carla, Lisette my hubby and kids surrounded me. Sara got ready and said "hunny, there is no easy way to do it, so Im just shaving ok". Behind the tears I told her to go for it. I closed my eyes, peeked at myself and then cried some more and did that routine the whole time. Of course I had awesome comments from them, but it was killing me inside to see myself like this. I finally had my husband come closer and we held hands and I squeezed his hand tight and I peeked at him and he just reassured me that it looks great. I really NEED his support and words.
After we were done, I played dress up a bit with my hats and wigs. Tomorrow I will put my make-up and earrings on and take some more pictures. Right now, Im emotionally wiped out.
My bestie Hope is coming back in a bit with some chocolate to make the night go by alittle easier. Im grateful for my support group and of course my Husband. My kids reacted well and its just another step in the road for us as a family with a mom that has cancer.
Thank you Sara for coming on que to shave my head. (Sara Stein @ Sheer Bliss Salon 520-723-7814) I love her and would never have thought that my simple relationship as a client would turn into emotional friendship. A good one. :)