Oh man WHAT A DAY! I knew I was super cranky but wouldn't admit to it. I just labeled it as "stressful" but Cory defines it as living in Hell on days like these. LOL. I told him tonight that when he is at work and I have days like this, I have no outlet and that is why I am an emotional basketcase when he comes home. Unfortunatley he was here to receive the daggers coming from my mouth.
My sister came over this morning to get "organized" with my scheduling for the 2 weeks after surgery. That took me 3 hours. I know that sounds crazy, but when I have my kids, here there and everywhere I have to text, email, message everyone and their neighbor to help out. Its not only mentally draining but emotionally draining. Asking people for help is not an easy task.
After the scheduling we went over bills and medical needs. Ugh...this makes me crazy. We just made all the expenses with minimal left. That put the stress level even further. Cory and I just kept barking at eachother and when the kids came home that just caused more stress. Then I get a call from APS to warn me that my electric was being shut off tomorrow. Now..I dont know if you remember this, but last month I made a $350 payment to the wrong account. Well, even after calling in and "transfering" the money over to my account, they really never did, so that balance was still there and therefore my bill had a past due amount. So I called APS to clear it up (Thank goodness I kept my reciepts) and my phone dropped the call 3 times!!!! UGH At&t cell phone towers and monsoon season SUCKS! Anyway I got it all worked out, but this was all in the middle of dinner. So as we ate, I had APS on speaker because I didn't want to put it off till tomorrow since tomorrow was shut off day. Anyway...We have a zero balance. YaY! So as this was all happening, we had a knock on our door. A chocolate cream pie and a $250 donation! Whew God is Good. So in the midst of all this craziness, God still reigns. Thank you Jesus for allowing me to see it and feel your presence.
Minutes later we had to head out the door for youth group. The crankiness was wearing off which I was thankful for because I needed to mentally be there for the kids. It was a great group and we had tons of fun. I love them!
We got home, watched some TV and then Bella asked the question that put her over the edge. "Can you please make sure you pick me up tomorrow". So I responded "Actually honey, Auntie will pick you up because I have a doctors appointment". That is all I needed to say. My baby girl is finally getting it. Doctors visits are not going away therefore she is coming to terms with our "new" life. I got down on my knees and she hugged me tighter than she has in a LONG time. Crying and telling me that she doesn't want me to go to the doctors anymore and that she is afraid they will hurt me. I explained to her again what they will do and what will happen but her 6 year old heart just felt sad for mommy. My heart broke and I tried so hard to fight back my own tears and I was trying to stay strong for her. She asked if we could please pray for me tonight so we did of course as we do every night. This isn't going to be as easy for them as I assume it will be. I wish I could take their fear and pain away.
Tomorrow is a new day. Cory gets to accompany me to the plastic surgeon's appointment. Yay! LOL....This SHALL be interesting.