Day 29 "I hope you find as much enjoyment in today as I did"

Well we left the house at 8:00am and returned at 5:30pm. I tried to think of the best way to sum up my day, but I decided Im just going to go back and walk you through it. Hang on....your brain might hurt after reading this.

Im going to bring you back to Tuesday. I went to the dentist because I knew I had a cavity that was on its way to turn bad and the surgeon suggested that I get any work done before surgery because infections will grab on to the expander. So I did go, and I had a "deep" cleaning, a cavity filling and an extraction. I spent 3 hours at the dentist. YUCK!

I came home and tried to rest up because I had youth group in a few hours. I was contemplating on staying home, but I don't want to miss a beat with those kids anymore than I have to. I told myself that I will just go, not talk to much so my mouth wont hurt. HAHAHAHA....Me? Gabbee? Not talk much? No way! Yup I did. I started our lesson and then I got going and started preaching. LOL! That kept my mouth moving.

Anyway when I got home, I was SORE!! My "extraction" spot was bleeding tons more than normal. I was up all night changing the guaze pads. Realizing that I dont like to be up sick alone. Yes my husband is in the bed next to me, but he's snoring like a bear. I had my side table light on, my TV on and books near me...but it's nothing like having someone there. So this morning I told Cory that when I am sick, he needs to stay up with me and to sleep during the day. LOL. He was NOT happy about that.

So....as you can imagine I was super sore and cranky this morning. I stopped the Ibropfun because its a blood thinner and I thought that was contributing to the excessive bleeding so I went meds free. :( Yuck!

Okay, so our first stop? Tina's Treasure. This boutique is in the lobby of where I will be getting my surgery done. They have everything for women facing a masectomy and chemo. We parked and walked over to the wrong building first. So we walked back towards the "cancer" center. I quickly said to myself "wow, I no longer just see my primary care doctor". I walk into the "cancer" center now. Never in a million years, I would have EVER guessed. I mean, sure it would cross my mind of being sick from any disease, but never once did I imagine myself walking into this boutique. But we did. We walked in and were greeted with smiles and sweetness. I told them of my diagnosis and they went and got a "consultant". She was super sweet and brought us back to a "private" room. The room was adorable. Filled with cute stuff. So Cory and I sat on a pretty white bench and listened to the consultant tell us about my free gift. A masectomy vest (cami) and bra with padding so that after surgery I can have some type of something when I go into public. She also told me that I could pick two heart shaped pillows. And that these pillows were made by women who love to sew and they can be used under my arms after surgery. I also got a pen/journal, pin and water bottle. :) Well the best part comes now. So, after I told the consultant of my surgery choice, she said that one of the supervisors had that surgery. She was about 60+ yrs of age...and she got this done 4 years ago. She said "would you like to see them"? At first, I thought maybe a picture, or a clay model. LOL....Then when she walked out I looked at Cory and said "Hmmm I didn't expect that, but when she comes in, you make sure you excuse yourself" Of course he agreed. So here comes this very conservative classy woman. I said "Cory is going to leave" and they both said "Oh, you can handle it, its ok, you should know what to expect too" LOL..So I looked at him and said "your call". Honestly I dont think Cory knew what to do, so he just sat down.

Bonnie (woman with the boobs) lifted her shirt so I could see her bra and had me touch them. Then she lifted her bra. My reaction was "oh wow, you have a niple" LOL...She had niples tattoo'd but they also created the nipple to make it more "real". She quickly covered herself back up and we just chatted about her journey. After we left the room Cory and I just looked at eachother and laughed. Here we are. 2 months (almost 3 now) we were working, raising two children, doing ministry, arguing about bills, running a crazy schedule and now we are at Tina's Treasure looking at Bonnie's reconstructive boobs and shopping for wigs and laughing the whole way through. Hmmmm. Not something I planned. But it was definitly interesting and Im glad I got to share it with him. I kind of want to take my girlfriends back and introduce them to Bonnie. LOL...I want them to see too. :)

Anywho....we left there and went to Dunkin Donuts so I can eat something. Something soft. Blueberry muffin. Yum! Did you know that I used to work there when I was a teen? It was such a great job. I walked in and my teenage years instantly came back. It was a great smell. :)

After our food stop, we proceeded onto our next appointment. My pre-op at the Breast Surgeons office.

Man, where do I start? Well for starters, I love Dr. Liu! God made her especially for me. LOL. She get's me, laughs at me and truly finds happiness in my questions. She said "before I start to go over surgery details, do you have any questions for me". So I turned to Cory and said "Can I have my notes". LOL...After we went through my list I said "Ok so now I know you are going to think Im crazy" and she stopped me and said "Gabbee, your craziness found a cancerous lump, so embrace it". So I said "Ok well, I feel pressure in my armpits" then she cracked a smile. I said "I know, I know, Im probably fine, but can you feel them again just to make sure, and my cancerous lump feels bigger, can you feel it again too". Of course she said yes. So she did a breast exam and felt my "new" lump and said she thinks its nothing but lets do an ultrasound just to make sure. She felt my armpits and they felt fine to her. I also did the gene test again. So off it went today to the lab. 2 weeks I should know the results.

So here is the new news that maybe she told me before but I didn't hear. Chemo will be 2 rounds. One round which is 4-6 months and then another round that will be 12 months. The 12 month round will not cause me to lose my hair, but the first round will. But atleast it can grow back during my 2nd round. The reason for those two rounds is because of the hormone that I am lacking. Or something like that. I have it all written down, but I couldn't tell you the name of it.

Now for surgery. I will go in on the 17th and get the double masectomy and expanders put in. She will also dye my lymph nodes and take 3-5 of them out and test them during my surgery. If they come out positive then she will remove all of them. If they come back with a tiny amount (2mm or less) then she will leave them in and give me radiation. So this is news that I am anticipating because that puts my treatment at 20 months long.

Implants. Now this will be done in 3 segments. Expanders during surgery, then when they are ready I will go back in and take the expander out and put the implant in. Then down the road they will attach a nipple and put the tattoo on. Now....IF my lymph nodes are affected and I have to have radiation then I can not have the implants in till after I am done. Thats about May2012. Whew...lots of information right?

After all that, she just went on to surgery information. Because I am getting the dye for my lymph nodes, I have to check in at 7:30am. I also have to register before I do that, so I have to be at the surgery center at 6:30 which is an hour from our house..during traffic on a friday so we would have to leave by 5am. Im not digging that...so we would love to stay in Scottsdale the night before. Im hoping that we can get a nice hotel (Cory & I) get in a jacuzzi, and have a relaxing night just the two of us before we enter into this world of recovery and fight! So Im seeking out hotels...(if you know anyone that gets discounts, please let me know)

So....after we spent an hour and a half there, we went onto the ultrasound. I have to admit I think I was numb to this. I went in like a pro. As if "I have cancer, I know how this works..lets get this over with". LOL. I did go back and get the ultrasound done. She said "Ok, Im going to show the radiologist and I'll be back in a minute". Man, I remember those words. Those words gave me the feeling of "oh boy, this can't be good". So I waited for atleast 10 minutes. It felt like FOREVER. I thought to myself. What's the worst that can happen Gabbee? They see an abnormality? LOL....And? So? I kind of laughed and just waited. Then I realized. Crap, I dont want them to come in and say "hmmm, I would like to do a biopsy". Ugh, I dont want to go through that again. So when she came back and said "Doctor said its negative" I was like "ok, Im outta here!" Whew! What a relief!

Ok so after that we head to my primary care doctor where Cory works. I had to get some blood work done, get refills on my happy meds I take for nighttime and allergy pills. I thought I had a bug in my ear but its just fluid. LOL!! Yay Fluid!

Then guess what we did after that? HEADED HOME! Yay!!!! It was such a long day! We are sooo tired. Its requiring every ounce of energy just to type this super long blog. But I couldn't wait to tell you about our day.

Here are my requests. We found out about some surgery treatments (including the gene test, it might be less than 100%)  that are not covered under our insurance plan, so we are going to try and fundraise our butt off. We also are in need of a hotel discount. We are also in need of PRAYER that my blood work comes back healthy and that my gene test comes back negative. Please pray for my surgery date. September 17th. Im excited because I will share my prayer with all of you the night before. I hope to show the comfort and peace that I find in God before going under.

:)