Sunday, August 15, 2010

Day 16 "Communion"

To take communion in remembrance of Gods sacrifice for me is a blessing in its own. However to serve communion is something else. Why? Because it truly is a privilege. It’s an honor to present God’s sacrifice to others and tell others “God Bless You.” Not in the same way as you would respond when someone sneezes. But to truly say “God Bless you”.

It’s been on my heart for some time now to grow in the leadership position and expand my biblical knowledge as a teacher. Ministry is my passion. It’s my desire for kids to know Jesus. It’s my desire for them to know where I came from and where I am now. I love those kids, and they truly love me back. However…I don’t want to be idle in my ministry. I want to be held accountable to these kids, not just as a friend, but as their Pastor. I want to be by their side, through tough times, good times, when they are close to Jesus, when they are far from Jesus. I want to be an example of Him. My purpose in life is ministry so why not grow deeper and reveal what awesome things God can do with me in this position?

Last week I went to our church committee board to give my testimony and goal in ministry. So the board voted and accepted my request and I now hold my Local Pastoral License which gets me on track for my district license which then will lead me to ordination. Ah, big word for me!

I’m 31 years old and I have breast cancer which will hold me down for a year. BUT my God is way bigger than this small cancer. So big that through this trial, ministry will NOT be on hold. This is my heart.

After my Pastor announced this to our congregation he asked if I would assist in serving communion. I sobbed, because WHAT AN HONOR! An honor to stand there in my “I fight like a girl pink ribbon” t-shirt, pink bracelets, jeans and purple vans because He LOVES me for who I am! He leads me by still waters, He is my strength when I am weak, He fills my cup when it is empty. He loves me when I’m sick, when I’m healthy, when I am beat up, knocked down and discouraged. He loves me and wants me to live for HIM! Regardless of this disgusting disease that is trying to take over my body, I will continue to be who I am, and live for the purpose He has given me.

The first person in my row today was my precious boy Isaac. He was so proud of me. He stood there and I sobbed some more. More and more people came to my line taking communion and I just kept crying trying to get “Bless you” out from behind the tears. My niece took communion then wiped the tears from my eyes. I had strangers tell me congratulations and to keep fighting this. It was a moment that I will NEVER forget and I am so grateful for the opportunity.

Sometimes I am just so thankful in this situation. Thankful for the ministry that is being done. Thankful for the story that God has given me. Thankful that strangers, new friends and old are thanking me for blessing them. I’m just so thankful!

Each day I wake up and I think “how am I going to fight this today”. It’s an EVERYDAY battle. It will always be, until the doctor says “You’re in remission”. The funny thing is….I have not even started my battle yet. LOL….I’m still in the grieving process. Surgery and treatment isn’t even in place. It will be soon…very soon, but Thank God that he has given me this time to mourn the loss of my “old” normal and adjust to my “new” normal. Thank God that he has given me time to grieve with my husband, family and friends. Thank God that I wasn’t thrown from “you have cancer” to surgery, to chemo, to recovery. I was blessed. Piece by Piece. I pray that this isn’t the end. I pray that He makes this story so great and that people really see me for who I am, and what my heart and desire really stands for.

Pastor Gabbee sounds CRAZY! I would have NEVER imagined my life like this. However…I’m thankful that it is this way. I’m thankful that I’m still here and I have received the blessings thus far. I have to be. I am comforted for free. No fees, no appointments. My full time counselor. I rejoice in that!

1 comment:

  1. Congrats Gabbee! I've missed service the last two weeks, I wish I would have been there for the announcement :( But i will see you Sat night!! Praying everyday for you!!!! <3 Joy