Man, Im not even sure how to blog tonight. How to even sum up my feelings. As verbal as I am, I think I might be lost for words...but here it goes..
Tonight was amazing. Not only do I have some rocking friends, but my family is pretty great too! My sister hosted a pajama party in my honor. Pink and Purple Jammies. Games, food, fellowship and prizes. It was awesome. I laughed till my face hurt.
One of my favorite parts? Aside from the 6 chocolate covered strawberries, cheesecake, chocolate cake, fruit pizza and oreo balls....was the "what I think of Gabbee" game. Everyone wrote out a statement of their thoughts about me and we had to guess who wrote it. There were times I was shocked at what I meant to people and how they view me. Its AMAZING. And the thing is....of course its nice to hear good things, but it was so awesome to know that I have an impact on people around me. I have a purpose. Its worth the fight. That is what rolls through my head. Not only am I fighting for my kids and husband but I am fighting to continue to make people smile, or laugh, or to show that Im faithful, on and on. What a special treat.
One of the comments mentioned that they love how I am proud to be who I am. You know whats funny? I struggled so much with that in school. I always tried to be someone I wasn't because I just wanted to be accepted that I couldn't really be who I was. In high school, I was the "bully". I had this attitude that got me into too many fights and lots of broken relationships, mostly because I was angry and stuck up I guess...but that wasn't me. Do you know how hard it is to be the "bad guy" and try to turn over a new leaf? It doesn't work very well in the midst of being a teenager in High School.
So to hear that people admire that I am who I am and I am proud of it, really blesses me because I have longed to just be who I am. And finally I can be proud of myself.
Tonight we laughed lots, danced lots, ate WAY TOO MUCH food and chatted. Sometimes I would joke about my cancer. That is a release for me. It helps me in times when all I can do is think about it. And if it makes people laugh, then I am good. :)
Im so grateful to my sister for putting this together and sacrificing her time to make it perfect. Thank you so much to my friends that came and just wanted to be here to have fun. I think we achomplished that.
I hope I am still giggling tomorrow at some of the things that happened.
I love you all!