Sunday, August 8, 2010

Day 9 "Gifts"

I wish I could take a picture of all the gifts I am receiving to share with you guys. I am amazed! Today I got a special card from a women at our church. She just started coming. Her name is Carolyn. She had breast cancer that has spread to her bones. She walks around with a smile though. She gave me a card. A beautiful pink and purple card that warmed my heart. She had such encouraging words to say.

Then I noticed some of the teens from church wearing purple. They looked adorable. Im posting a picture too. These teens have been texting me almost daily asking how they can help. Well yesterday morning they got up super early on a Saturday, got dressed in their purple clothes, put their breast cancer pin on and went to the park to take pictures. They took the picture of them holding hands walking towards the camera, put it in a purple frame, and glued a purple and pink ribbon on the side. When they all approached me and handed me this gift, of course tears started flowing down my face. When I look at this picture, I see Jesus. I have known 3 of them for a few years now and two of them are family. I've shed tears with them all at some point in time that I have known them. We have been through more together, than one would think. From car accidents, to stepping into a new phase in their life. to falling away from Jesus and asking how to get back, to life experiences and feeling alone. I've heard it all from them and I love them. Thank you! This was dear to my heart.

I thank all of you for just going out of your way and thinking of me. I wish I could thank each and everyone of you, and I try my best...but if I haven't, please know that I hold it close to my heart.

When we got home from church, after we ate lunch, the doorbell rang. I ran in  my bedroom to get dressed appropriately for company while my husband answered the door. There was a BEAUTIFUL vase filled with pink roses from my secret sister. I feel so bad for her. If she only knew when she got my name...that she would carry such a heavy responsiblity as my secret sister. LOL! She is doing such a wonderful job! I love her and I don't even know who she is. I wont lie, and say I don't try and figure it out...but I guess I wont know for sure until the day is revealed. :)

This morning was a bit rough mostly because of the lack of sleep I had. I get very anxious going into public places where I will know everyone. Not because I dont want to talk about it, but because I sense the feeling that people are feeling weird around me. Please know that I am still Gabbee. I am not contagious. My husband noticed that he has more women coming up to him now than men. LOL! Welcome to the world of Breast Cancer Cory! :)

I had an argument with my mom before church this morning. After she excitedly gave me books a journal and a hat, I started to cry and she went into Mommy mode, which I wasn't ready for. I couldn't handle the words "Its going to be ok" or "maybe you wont have those side effects from the chemo". I need reality. I need honesty. I have been hearing "sugar coating" from day one...and look where I am now? I wasn't prepared for this. I rather prepare myself for the worse, get strong doing it, and then when it hits me smaller than imagined, I rejoice that I had so much strength. After bickering...I got up and hugged her. And we cried. Then I ran to the bathroom. I think I was so mad that I had a good day yesterday and today was not that same way. I think I need to concentrate on learning how to live my new normal life. Boy, I wish I knew how.

Anyway....I feel the love. LOVE LOVE. Purple LOVE which is way better than any other kind.

1 comment:

  1. Gabby you live your new life one day one hour one minute at at time. You dont know me but you know one of my Mireille Erika from ignite. I was diagnosed at 27 before she was ever conceived. I had to have complete reconstruction of both breasts but was spared chemo thank God. If you need a friend or a shoulder of someone that will give encouragement not pity you can get my number from Kylee or Erika either one. If there is anything I can help with just ask if it is in my power I will step up. Your fight was mine and only living day by day hour by hour minute by minute will you be able to keep going. Rely on friends family and loved ones and know it is ok to be scared and to lean on others in times of weakness that is what god put them in your path for.
    All my support and Love