Sunday, August 1, 2010

First time at Church since the diagnosis

I woke up so anxious today. Probably because I had to face EVERYONE and I wasn't sure how to respond. I didn't want to react the wrong way or not say the right thing. I know that should be the last thing on my mind, but I couldn't help it.

I took my time getting ready this morning for church. Usually Im there early and setting up, greeting new families, hanging with our pr-teens and teens and having coffee. I knew today was going to be different.

The kids and I picked up one of our pre-teens from her house and we headed to church. As we walked up to the doors I noticed one of our teens Dayton standing in the doorway with two pink & purple ribbons on his shirt. I seriously had to compose myself and process that. Dayton usually comes to church with something fun on this clothes or his wrist or a funky hat, so I didn't realize that he was just one of hundreds of people supporting the ribbon and the meaning beind it. After we embraced I walked through the doors at church and was met by one our other teens Maddie.

There she was holding a basket of ribbons. Pink with a dash of purple for everyone in the congreation to wear. That is when I lost my composure. Here I was, standing in the doorway at church, hugging and sobbing on a teen that I have grown to know and love. 18 years old, and she wanted to do this for me. She and a few other teens, our youth Pastor John and his wife Amy (all my very best friends) and John's parents got together last night, and sat around a table making ribbons for me! For everyone to support me and show that they love me!

I was AMAZED! But not surprised! I am loved and it FELT GOOD! I looked around and EVERYONE was wearing a ribbon. I didn't know what to do but cry. Cry out of gratefulness not from sorrow. I was handed cards, presents, money, hugs, encouragement and survivor stories. I walked into a place this morning that I normally walk into greeting others, ministering to others, fellowshinping with others, and today that place that I call Church was different. They were loving on me, greeting me, ministering to me, fellowshiping with me and showing God's love 100% to ME!

 I have been in ministry for 10+ years and I have never been the person that had a health need. Usually our staff is supporting our congregation on health needs. Today I was the need. And the love was overwhelming. It felt good! I cried, I laughed, I sat and stared in space and it was all so good.

Thank you for all the love, donations, prayers and support. I left with a great sense of peace knowing that through this, my church family and friends will be the hands and feet of God. What else do I need? Nothing. God is using everyone to care for me the way He would if He was alive in human form. Instead he is our Holy Spirit who lives in others to love on others. That is why His gift to us is INCREDIBLE. That is our purpose. And they achieved it! Thank you Mosaic. Thank you to my family! Thank you to my close friends. Thank you!


  1. thanks for sharing gabbee...i am so sorry to hear about your mother is a breast cancer survivor...i have no doubt in my mind that you will fit it...altough i haven't seen u in over 10 years but just from seeing you on here and randomly talking to you on here i find u to be a very strong person and come from a beautiful and supporting community and that is absoultely i am certain that you will get through this obstacle and become an even stronger person...i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers....sending my love to you!! :)

  2. Gabbee, what a beautiful post. You have a beautiful way with words to express your story.