Man, my emotions were all over the place today. I think it started when I was at safeway buying a b-day card for my sister this morning. What kind of card do you get someone that you love so much AND that you are about to go down a road that was never thought of before? I started crying in Safeway and that's when I knew how this day would go.
I waited on giving her the card till dinner...and not our breakfast alone, because we would both cry and I didn't want that to happen. So we enjoyed breakfast, went shopping for my Pajama Party then met Hope and went to lunch. During this time I started to get anxious. I was trying really hard to keep my emotions under control and not take my sister's Birthday Joy away. I tried but probably failed.
During lunch I got a phone call from the lab chick again. She was calling to tell me that they need ONE MORE piece of paper. UGH!!!! If I could have jumped through the phone I would have. I was sooooo mad! I just want results. Well, really I just want surgery and chemo so I could get this done and over with.
After stressing about that....I finally got the paperwork faxed. But I thought I would call my Surgeon to see if there is anything they can do to speed up the STAT process.
On my phone call with the nurse, I informed her that I had made a decision about my surgery that I wanted the Doc to know.
Double Masectomy. Some may find this crazy, some may agree. Either way, I dont really care....LOL...because this was decision that I cried about and still do however I am at peace with it.
The day I made the decision to have a double masectomy is after my appointment with the plastic surgeon. (and of course after my MRI results) The work that has to be done to my left breast, just for it to look somewhat like my "new" right breast is OVERKILL. Im only 31 years old. THis is a big deal for me. I rather take it all, be less anxious each year on my mamograms and start from scratch on both sides.
So....I was able to have a lengthy conversation with my surgeon to let her know my decision. Because that is what I wanted, we could stop the blood test...take it after the surgery, let the insurance pay for it, and work on the ovarian surgery IF NEEDED at a later time.
THAT IS GOOD NEWS FOR ME!
So, the nurse will call me back with a surgery date. Im hoping I should know something by the end of the week.
After all this, I laid down for a bit before my sister's birthday dinner in town. When it was time to go, I popped some ibprofun, grabbed a pillow for the ride and off we went.
We had a good time and it was a good ending to a crazy day. I love my sister and am so thankful that I am here to spend her birthday with her.
At dinner we joked about cancer alot. My mom has been recently diagnosed with Hypertension. Actually, my mom was in the ER this afternoon and got out right before we went to dinner. She picked me up and said "I just got out of the ER, I took off my bracelet so you wouldn't know" LOL....
Her blood pressure was over 200. She didn't want to worry me. LOL...Figures.
Anyway we were talking about our health problems. Blood pressure, losing their eyesight, hearing, anxiety...all of the above. These are the things you talk about when you are celebrating your 41st Birthday right? :)
So I stopped them in their tracks and said "Im the youngest one and have the deadliest disease, so get over it". We just laughed. At that point...what can you do? :)
I love my family. As crazy as we are...they are MINE!
Each day is different. I keep saying this...that one day Im fine, the next Im not. I really can't handle all the emotions but I guess I can, because I am. :)
Please pray with me for a quick surgery date. Im anxious everyday and really just want to get the ball rolling. :)