I wish shopping cured cancer. I'd be healed by now.
Today Amy took went with me shopping so I can spend my gift card that I got. She also bought me PURPLE VANS!!!! I am soooo excited to wear them! I love them! I was like a kid in a candy store today. I just love purple. She heard me say that I wanted them awhile ago and since this all happened, I got spoiled. :) So tomorrow I get to wear my pink sparkly shirt from Hope and my purple vans. This puts a BIG smile on my face. I feel normal.
So we raced into Casa Grande and went to Marshalls. I got new undies. LOL...I did this not because I needed them, but when you are going through this, your undergarments seem to be seen more and more and you have no privacy. So....I decided to get new ones. Pretty ones. :) I got a few sports bras, tanks, a shirt for church and some comfy cozy pants. Ohhhh it was soooooo nice!
While in Tilly's I found a bracelet. "I love BOOBIES". LOL...It sounds weird but it’s a breast cancer awareness foundation.
This is my world now. Full of pink ribbons, boob organizations/bracelets, hats, scarves, bandanna's, sports bras, pink rings, pink bracelets, my goodness...you name it, and they have it. But it does really help. Every girl likes to shop, so why not shop for things that make you feel pretty in a dark situation.
Tonight Cory and I are going on a date. Oh I can't wait! I can't wait to sit and talk and laugh with my husband. I’m going to try my hardest not to talk about boobs, cancer, chemo, books, websites, hair loss or doctors. I’m not sure how to do it, but I’m going to try my hardest!
I think I know what I will do when I have a bad day. SHOP! :)
My mother in law Paula called me today. I probably have mentioned this before, but she is a breast cancer survivor and we were with her 90% of the chemo/radiation treatment. She called to tell us that she and Dave (Cory's dad) will come down either for surgery or chemo. Whichever we decide. ONE HUGE WEIGHT was lifted off my shoulders. Because she has been through all of this. I feel so happy that she will be here to take care of me while I am laid up...either boobless or from reconstructive surgery. She reminded me about "early menopause" and that my hormones are going to be out of wack and I will have some crazy mood swings and hot flashes. I reminded her that I do remember when she had her hot flashes, when we would all be at her house in double sweatshirts and she would have a tank top. LOL! It’s crazy to reminisce about that.
It’s going to be ok. Everything will be ok. I’m going to learn to accept tears and fears, but I won’t let it run my chance of survival.